Alright, let’s talk about something that often gets brushed under the rug – sex that doesn’t feel so great. We’ve all heard it should be a pleasurable experience, right? But guess what? If it’s not, you’re far from alone. Nearly 3 out of 4 people have reported discomfort during sex at some point in their lives. So if this is you, take a deep breath (literally, we’ll get into that soon) because there’s hope and, trust me, some great ways to make things more enjoyable.
In this guide, we’re diving into some handy tips, soothing stretches, and yes, how to pick the perfect lube for you. Ready to make things steamy? Let’s get to it!
Before the Bedroom: Preparing Your Body
Think about intimacy like a workout. You wouldn’t sprint a mile without warming up, right? The same goes for sex. A little prep can go a long way in making sure your mind and body feels good, not tense or stressed.
Diaphragmatic Breathing: Your Secret WeaponEver feel like your brain or body is on high alert, even in intimate moments? Deep breathing (not just shallow chest breathing) can help you chill out. It’s like hitting the reset button on your stress response. Try it right now – inhale deeply through your nose for 5 seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Do this a few times and feel your body ease into relaxation mode.
Hip Opener and Pelvic Floor Stretches: Happy Baby Pose No, you don’t have to become a yoga pro, but this simple stretch is gold! Lie on your back, pull your knees up toward your shoulders, and grab your feet or shins. It’s all about opening up those hips and relaxing your pelvic floor. Hold for 30 seconds or even a few minutes if it feels good.
Or, try Child’s Pose: Stretch your hips, rest your head, and just breathe. You’ll feel the tension melting away in no time.
Communication: The Key to Great Intimacy
Now, let’s talk about one of the most important things in the bedroom (and outside of it): communication. You might think your partner knows what you like, but even the best mind readers need some help. Speak up! Let them know what feels good and what doesn’t. Adjust positions, speed, or pressure until it’s just right for you.
You’re both in this together, so don’t be shy about tweaking things for more comfort and pleasure.
The Lowdown on Lube: It’s Not Just for the Movies
If you haven’t experimented with lube yet, you’re missing out. It’s like the MVP of making things smooth and easy. But, not all lubes are created equal, so let’s break it down.
Water-Based LubeGreat for sensitive skin and latex condoms. But yes, it can dry out faster, so you may need to reapply.Brands we love: Good Clean Love, Slippery Stuff, Ah! Yes
Silicone-Based LubeLasts the longest, so it’s perfect for a long session without reapplying. But beware, it’s not compatible with silicone toys.Brands we love: Uberlube, Astroglide
Natural LubeThink coconut oil! It’s long-lasting and less toxic, but not ideal for latex condoms.Brands we love: Coconut Oil, Aloe Cadabra
Positions to Try: Spice It Up
Who says comfort and pleasure can’t go hand in hand? These positions not only feel good, but they also help reduce discomfort. Bonus: They allow you to focus on clitoral stimulation too!
Spooning: Perfect for a lazy Sunday morning. Side-by-side with your partner’s chest against your back, this position gives you room for slow, intimate movements. Plus, you can easily add in some clitoral stimulation.
Cowgirl: If you like being in control, this one’s for you. On top, you can adjust the angle, speed, and pressure to hit all the right spots. Try adding pillows for extra comfort.
Modified Missionary: Add a pillow under your hips for better alignment. This isn’t your regular old missionary – the grinding motion stimulates both internal and external pleasure points.
Lotus: Talk about close contact. Face-to-face, sitting on your partner’s lap, this position allows for intimate grinding and tons of clitoral stimulation. Plus, it’s a slow burn, giving you time to enjoy the ride.
Side by Side: This gentle position is great for those who experience pain. Shallow penetration keeps things comfy, while staying close keeps the mood intimate and sweet.
Now that you’re armed with some new tips, don’t be afraid to take charge of your pleasure. After all, sex is supposed to feel good for you. So whether it’s trying a new stretch, switching up your lube, or experimenting with positions, the key is tuning into your body and what it needs.
Got any other favorite tricks or go-to positions? Let’s chat in the comments! 💬
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