I’ll never forget the day I got my first period. I was 14 years old, and I was cheering at a basketball game for the neighboring all-boys school. It was supposed to be a fun, exciting night. I remember feeling a strange sensation in my stomach, but I brushed it off, thinking it was just nerves. Then, during halftime, I went to the bathroom and saw the blood. That’s when the panic truly set in.
A wave of fear and shame washed over me. I wasn’t prepared for this—I didn’t know what it meant, and I definitely didn’t know how to ask for help. I remember standing in that bathroom stall, frozen with anxiety. It felt like I was the only person in the world going through this, and the last thing I wanted was for anyone to know. I was terrified someone would notice and embarrassed to even talk about it. So, I did what most girls in that situation do—I stuffed toilet paper in my underwear and hoped for the best.
That night felt like an endless battle of trying to stay composed, all while fear and shame gnawed at me. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my mom, until days later—and even then, I was embarrassed.
That experience has stayed with me, and it shaped how I think about periods, especially when it came time to prepare my own daughter. I didn’t want her to feel the same fear and shame I had felt. So, when the time came, I made sure to have open conversations with her, using some of the very information I’m sharing with you now.
I’m proud to say that my daughter has no shame, no embarrassment, and she certainly doesn’t let her period stop her from conquering the world. I made sure she knew her period was just a natural part of life, something that doesn’t define or limit her in any way.
At Freya Wellness Co., we wanted to understand more about the first-period experience, so we asked our followers, “What’s one thing you wish you knew before getting your first period?” The responses shocked us and revealed just how much we still need to do to prepare and support young girls through this transition.
Here’s what they said:
“Not to be scared or embarrassed—it’s actually an amazing thing!”
"Clots in your period doesn't mean you're dying"
"Cramps aren't the only symptom that can come along with your period"
"Your second period might not be exactly a month after your first period"
“That most people get it for about a week every month. I thought it was one day a year! Haha.”
"How it can affect your mood"
“That your period can tell you a lot about the rest of your health.”
“The way you eat and take care of yourself can affect your period.”
“That PMS isn’t always normal.”
These answers hit close to home for me. I’m relieved to see the conversation is opening up, but I also feel heartbroken knowing that so many young girls, like me, didn’t have the guidance or support they needed.
As parents, we have a huge opportunity to change this for our daughters. We can break the cycle of fear and shame by making sure they are prepared—not just with products, but with knowledge and encouragement.
Signs That Menstruation Is Approaching
The average age for a first period is around 12-13 years, but it can happen earlier or later. Here are a few signs to look out for that may indicate your daughter’s first period is coming soon:
Breast Buds: One of the earliest signs of puberty, breast buds can appear 2-3 years before the first period.
Pubic Hair: Soft, thin hair may start to appear 1-2 years before menstruation, becoming coarser over time.
Cervical Discharge: White or yellowish discharge may appear in the months leading up to the first period. This is normal and something worth explaining to your daughter to reduce any confusion or worry.
Let’s Talk About It
If you’re feeling unsure about how to approach the conversation, start by being open, honest, and positive. Preparing your daughter for her first period (and the next 40 years of them!) doesn’t have to be daunting. Here’s how you can make it easier for both of you:
De-mystify the Process: Teach your child that periods are not a limitation. They don’t define you or what you’re capable of. Remind her that people from all walks of life—pop stars, astronauts, and Olympic athletes—have periods. It’s just one part of life, and it doesn’t have to control her.
Irregular Cycles Are Normal: In the first few years, periods can be unpredictable. The cycle may vary from month to month, and that’s okay! Encourage her to track her cycle, whether using an app or writing it down.
Explain the Physical Symptoms: It can be scary for a young girl to imagine bleeding for days on end. Let her know that the average person only loses about 2-3 tablespoons of blood over the course of their period, and it doesn’t all come out at once. You can also prepare her for the possibility of other PMS symptoms, but try not to dwell on the negatives—they may not even happen!
Explore Supplies Together: There are so many options for period products these days, from pads and tampons to menstrual cups and period underwear. Create a stockpile at home so she can experiment and see what works best for her. If she’s not comfortable discussing it right away, let her explore on her own and come to you with questions later. Read about our favorite period protection products here.
Discuss the Link Between Health and Periods: Your daughter’s menstrual cycle can tell her a lot about her overall health. Share how diet and exercise can influence her cycle and introduce her to the concept of cycle syncing, where she can adjust activities to align with the hormonal shifts during her cycle. Read more about cycle syncing on our blog here.
Prepare for Accidents: Leaks happen, and that’s okay. You can help your daughter feel more confident by putting together a small period kit with extra supplies—pads, tampons, a clean pair of underwear, and even a change of clothes—so she’s ready for anything.
The Bottom Line
Your daughter’s first period doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience like mine was. By creating a safe, supportive environment, you can make sure she enters this new phase of life feeling empowered and informed, rather than scared or ashamed. At Freya Wellness Co., we’re here to support you and your family through every stage of life. Whether you’re navigating menstruation, fertility, pregnancy, or menopause, our personalized care ensures you feel strong, supported, and confident—every step of the way.
To building strong, healthy bodies & daughters,
Luly
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